Alan Rochford was living the dream when he started Stone Cottage, an idyllic French restaurant nestled in the Adelaide Hills. He had everything going for him apart from experience, money, and the first idea about what he was doing. After two years and one divorce, he began to see the funny side, fed on an endless diet of characters and occurrences so crazy that you couldn’t make them up.

Australia’s answer to Basil Fawlty, Alan serves up a degustation of lip-smacking anecdotes, from his side-line in snail trading across the French countryside, to the time two customers got a touch too ‘intimate’ in the middle of his dining room.

Guinea Pig in White Wine Sauce is the tale of one man trying to keep his head in the certifiably insane world of fine dining.