Perfect for readers who seek understanding of how they fit into the universe, Rikki West’s vibrant memoir follows her journey of confronting hidden assumptions and childhood trauma on the way to finding her life’s vibrant, living truth.



At seven, Rikki West begs a mysterious God for help, praying that her drunk father won’t harm their family and that he won’t be sent to hell. But when nothing seems to happen, she worries: Is anyone up there really listening?

This question triggers a lifelong search for the great, loving being she imagines her prayers might reach. Delving into Catholicism, psychedelics, transcendental meditation, yoga, AA and Buddhist chanting, she explores every available path. She studies genetic science at UC Berkeley and humanities at San Francisco State, combing through the knowledge they offer for answers to the big questions.

A single lesbian mom, Rikki soars in her Silicon Valley career until the dot-com bust leads to the loss of opportunities. At age 56, she finds herself barely employable. Yet, with bills to pay and the drive to earn her own way, Rikki seeks whatever odd jobs she can patch together, from barista and gardener to deck builder, proposal writer, newspaper deliverer, and substitute teacher.

Along the way, she keeps up her questioning of the universe. But it is only when she throws overboard all her notions of God and truth that something unexpected and wonderful blossoms in her. At the age of seventy-one, Rikki recognizes her answer—in the most surprising place.

The place called “I.”