Along with my own personal story, I am going to write down a few things that may amuse you (or even take you down some other emotional path) and I'll let you in on a few so-far-unrevealed aspects of my life.

I'll try to leave out the boring bits.

Don't be thinking this is easy for me.

I'm darn good at getting under other people's skin, but opening up about my own life is quite a different matter. So how shall I portray myself? There are choices, you know:

Wife, mother, psychologist, writer, comedian, actor, dancer, diver, gypsy, dreamer, rich girl, poor girl, beggar girl, thief. I am all of those and more.

Tell you what, you decide. You decide exactly what I am…

A complicated childhood in Australia, a bold move to London, being a woman in a man's world on Not the Nine O'Clock News, becoming Mrs Billy Connolly, motherhood, career changes and then Strictly Come Dancing - told in her own inimitable style, The Varnished Untruthis Pamela Stephenson's own story.