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We Used to Dance

Loving Judy, My Disabled Twin

Published by She Writes Press
Distributed by Simon & Schuster

LIST PRICE ₹741.00

PRICE MAY VARY BY RETAILER

About The Book

Debbie and Judy are twins—but Judy was born with cerebral palsy, and Debbie was not. Despite the severity of Judy’s brain damage, her parents chose to keep her at home with her three siblings, and ultimately Judy lived at home with them well into adulthood. Even after her father died, she continued to stay with her mother, her care augmented by a succession of home attendants—until, that is, her doctor told Debbie that Judy’s care at home was wanting and she would not survive without nursing home care.

In We Used to Dance, Debbie tells of the emotional trauma she experienced when she was forced to place her sister—a sister unable to sit, stand, eat regular food, feed herself, use a bathroom, or make her needs and desires known through speech or other means—in a new and strange environment. Following Judy’s life in her new home as well as her past relationship with Debbie and the rest of their immediate family, this is a raw, personal memoir of love and guilt—and, ultimately, acceptance.

About The Author

Born in the Bronx, NY, Debbie Morris lived on Long Island (Plainview) for most of her adult life. The youngest (by five minutes) of four children, family has always been important to her. Married for forty-four years and since widowed, she is mother to three wonderful sons and two amazing daughters-in-law, and grandmother to a beautiful granddaughter. Debbie worked in the field of Early Childhood Education, receiving master’s degrees from Queens College, Hofstra University, and Bank Street College of Education. Her work included classroom teacher to preschool and kindergarten children and teaching reading to kindergarteners in need of extra support. Now retired, she loves spending time taking walks in nature, solving NY Times crossword puzzles, and practicing piano. Debbie currently resides in Mt. Kisco, New York, with her new partner.

Product Details

  • Publisher: She Writes Press (October 24, 2023)
  • Length: 256 pages
  • ISBN13: 9781647425746

Raves and Reviews

“Morris’s story of identical twin sisters recounts a lifetime of loving care and hard choices. . . . A tender and skillfully written account of deep joys and difficult challenges.”
Kirkus Reviews

“A breathtaking tribute to the power of sisterly love. This story will grip your heart and not let go.”
—Diana Kupershmit, author of Emma’s Laugh: The Gift of Second Chances – A Memoir

“A heartfelt memoir about life with a severely disabled twin sister. This is a moving reflection on navigating the physical, emotional, and social challenges of an atypical life at home and in the ‘outside’ world. Full of love and profoundly moving. I laughed and cried; celebrated and grieved.”
—Teresa Sullivan, author of Mikey and Me: My Life with My Exceptional Sister

“I have never read a more honest account of having a sibling with a severe disability than We Used to Dance. Morris not only vividly describes the relationship with her sister but discusses the powerful impact of that relationship on her own life. As the older sibling of a brother who had a significant cognitive disability, I was deeply moved by Morris’s descriptions of the conflicting emotions she experienced and the difficult decisions she had to make. I was in tears when I finished reading. I will remember Judy and Debbie for a long time.”
—Harriet S. Mosatche, PhD, author of Fingerprints on My Heart: How My Severely Disabled Brother Shaped My Life

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