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DEAR SASHA

9/19/10 11:15am

To: Jacob Schwartz (gamerguy@zahoo.com)

From: Sasha Silver (sassysilver@mymail.com)

Subject: Hey

Hi Jacob,

I can’t stop thinking about you, so I wanted to e-mail and say hi. It’s only the first day of fall break, but I miss seeing you around. I know things are messed up between us and this e-mail probably doesn’t help, but I wanted to be honest. Hope you’re doing okay after the Homecoming dance.

~Sasha

PS: My phone broke and I won’t get it back till the weekend, so don’t try to text me. E-mail me back—if you want.

9/19/10 4:32pm

To: Sasha Silver (sassysilver@mymail.com)

From: Jacob Schwartz (gamerguy@zahoo.com)

Subject: re: Hey

Sasha—

I didn’t expect you to e-mail me at all. I’m really glad you did. I know you said you want to stay single. I respect that and I won’t push you anymore. But I miss you—I’m not going to lie, especially since we’re both being honest about this.

Jacob

9/20/10 7:32am

To: Jacob Schwartz (gamerguy@yahoo.com)

From: Sasha Silver (sassysilver@hotmail.com)

Subject: re: re: Hey

That’s kind of why I was e-mailing. I’m just so confused. I know I keep sending mixed signals. I get that. And I don’t want to hurt Callie or cause drama. But … never mind. Hope you’re having a good break.

~S

9/20/10 6:25pm

To: Sasha Silver (sassysilver@mymail.com)

From: Jacob Schwartz (gamerguy@zahoo.com)

Subject: re: re: re: Hey

You can’t leave things hanging like that. Just say it—whatever it is. Do you want me to call you or something? Someone told me you were staying with Heather. Maybe I could call you on her phone.

Jacob

9/21/10 10:15am

To: Jacob Schwartz (gamerguy@yahoo.com)

From: Sasha Silver (sassysilver@hotmail.com)

Subject: re: re: re: re: Hey

No, don’t call. It’s too hard to talk about this over the phone. Okay … fine. I’ll tell you. I liked Eric. A lot. But now, I hope we can stay friends and that’s it. And I know you had feelings for Callie. But I’ve been thinking about what you said that we never got a chance to really try being boyfriend and girlfriend. If you want, could we meet at the fountain when we get back to school? I still want to be careful not to hurt anyone, but maybe we owe it to ourselves to at least talk.

~S

9/21/10 1:08pm

To: Sasha Silver (sassysilver@mymail.com)

From: Jacob Schwartz (gamerguy@yahoo.com)

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: Hey

Sash, I never want to hurt Callie either. And I don’t want you to feel guilty about Eric, but like you said—you’ve moved on and I believe you when you say you want to be his friend. I think we should definitely meet when we get back to campus. Let’s talk about this before things get crazy with school. I can’t wait to see you.

Jacob

As if I’d needed to read those e-mails again. I folded the papers and looked out window of Heather’s Lincoln Town Car. The driver, Paul, pulled up to campus. Heather stared out the opposite window. We’d barely said a word to each other during the car ride from her New York City penthouse to Canterwood Crest Academy.

I stuck the papers in my purse and rubbed my eyes. For the entire fall break, Heather had been e-mailing Jacob as me. When I’d found out last night, I’d lost it over what she’d done.

This morning, I’d expected to wake up hating her. She’d hacked into my e-mail account, wrote my almost ex–boyfriend, and had arranged for Jacob and “me” to meet at the fountain at school. Heather hadn’t apologized. She said she’d given me options—I could meet Jacob or not.

The choice was mine.

I’d been furious in that moment and had been in a panic about what I’d do when we got back to school.

But when I’d woken up, I hadn’t hated Heather. She was Heather Fox after all and that’s how she handled situations. She took control and tried to solve problems the “Heather” way, even if they weren’t hers to fix. I’d known that about her for a long time. As I’d finished packing this morning, I kept waiting for the rush of anger. But that never happened.

I had to admit the truth to myself. Heather had been right last night when she’d said by e-mailing Jacob, she’d done what I couldn’t. She’d told him exactly how I was feeling and nothing she’d e-mailed him had been a lie. Heather had told him everything I’d been too scared to think about, let alone e-mail to Jacob. Last night, I hadn’t decided whether I was going to meet Jacob or not, but this morning, I’d known exactly what I was going to do.

Heather hadn’t asked for my answer.

Paul eased the car up the winding driveway and passed rows of dark-railed fences that kept bay, black, gray, and other beautiful horses from roaming free. Even though I’d only been away for a week during fall break, the beauty of the campus almost made me press my nose to the glass. I wanted to take in every inch of the gorgeous Connecticut campus.

Sometimes, I still couldn’t believe that I—a small town girl from Union, Connecticut—had been accepted to one of the most prestigious boarding schools on the East Coast. Not only was Canterwood insanely tough academically, but it also boasted a top-notch equestrian program. Thinking about riding made me miss my horse, Charm, so much that I almost wanted to climb out of the moving car and run toward the stable.

I frowned.

Before I could do that, I’d have to go back to my room and face a situation I’d been avoiding for the entire fall break—my falling out with Paige at the Homecoming dance that had caused me to stay at my former arch-nemesis’s penthouse, instead of getting the planned break with my BFF/roomie.

© 2010 JESSICA BURKHART